Well this was shit wasn’t it. I set my sky plus to record this a couple of weeks ago, and tonight I decided I would get it over with and watch it. When this film first came out, the promotional poster had the quote “Like Blair Witch on Acid”, and not “Blair Witch on Shrooms”. Immediately irritating.

Anyway, here is my summary of the first 20 minutes or so of Shrooms. Some American teenagers go to Ireland to take Magic Mushrooms because they don’t exist in America apparently. We join them in the airport, where they each say the word “Shrooms” a few thousand times to make sure we get the point. They meet up with someone who’s either Irish and bad at it, or doing a bad impression of being Irish, and he takes them to the woods to do some Magic Mushrooms. The potentially Irish guy tells everyone a story about some mad paedophile ghost thing, they all argue a bit about something irrelevant, they do some Magic Mushrooms, and bad things happen, probably.

The reason I say probably is because a few minutes after the film showed me a scene which intimated that Ireland has cavemen roaming around it in search of meat, I decided not to watch the rest of the film. This wasn’t just because I was rage blinded by the sheer fucking stupidity of this, but because it was obvious what was going to happen, and it was even more obvious that it would be shit. I therefore decided to just review it without watching it.

So, here’s the thing. Or the things maybe. One of the main girls eats ONE liberty cap mushroom, and then proceeds to trip balls like a motherfucker and have a massive seizure. If you have ever done magic mushrooms before, you will know that eating just one has about as much effect as eating just none. i.e. no effect at all. Now I know that films are always a bit liberal with reality, but it’s called Shrooms for fucksake, so it should at least have a vague understanding of how they work. Is that asking too much?

Anyway, here is why I think the rest of Shrooms was probably shit. Feel free to let me know if I’m wrong about any of this. The annoying teenagers who hate each other all take mushrooms and a series of confused events occur. We the audience are never quite sure what’s real and what’s imagined, and the creepy paedo from the story at the beginning turns up and starts killing everyone off. Or so it seems. By the end of the film all of them have died except the innocent blond girl who took the one mushroom and tripped out at the beginning. One other character is still alive, I’m not sure which one, but it’s one of the guys. He then died, probably, and then we find out that the girl either imagined the whole thing as part of the trip she was on from taking one mushroom right at the start, or that she’s been killing everyone herself without knowing in a drug crazed bout of crazy stupidity. All this despite the fact liberty cap mushrooms don’t have any of those affects, and the concept doesn’t even begin to lend itself to the making of a good film.

Fuck this film. Probably.

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