If you've ever walked out of a film and thought "Fuck that film, that film was fucking shit.", then you're in the right place. We're here to warn you about the shit films out there, so you don't waste your time on them.
Featured reviews
Friend: Hey Matt, fancy coming to see the new Quentin Tarantino film by Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino did it?
Me: Yes please person who claims to be my friend, I’d love to see the new Quentin Tarantino film by Quentin Tarantino. I hear Quentin Tarantino did it.
Friend: Fantastic! Well what are we waiting for, let’s go and see the new Quentin Tarantino film by Quentin Tarantino, Quentin Tarantino definitely did it.
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I used to like Christian Bale. I liked him right up until the day that he found out he was lactose intolerant, it all went downhill from there. The problem you see is that Christian Bale BLOODY LOVES Shredded Wheat and as such has it for breakfast every single day. He used to pour milk onto the Shredded Wheat, thereby softening them for easy delivery to the stomach. Not anymore. Now Christian Bale eats this healthy morning meal sans milk!! The effect this has can be easily summed up in this simple formula:
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Spiderman 3 was immediately boring. The opening credits lasted a lunar cycle and I shit you not I was close to walking out before they’d even ended. When they finally did, I wished they hadn’t, because the film that followed them was like being kicked in the spine. It turns out they weren’t opening credits at all, it was a list of people to blame.
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I’ve only just seen this film. When I first saw the trailer I thought to myself “hmmm, that’s going to...
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Yes I know it was Heath Ledger’s last ever film so I can’t be nasty about it because Heath Ledger...
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Friend: Hey Matt, fancy coming to see the new Quentin Tarantino film by Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino did it? Me: Yes...
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This movie is a wonderbra. Yes, I am being really trite and comparing a movie to an article of clothing...
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The trailer for this film made it look like it was going to be really funny. I like Jack Black,...
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Untraceable. This is a tough review for me to write. On the one hand, I do understand that’s it meant...
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I used to like Christian Bale. I liked him right up until the day that he found out he was...
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Quentin Tarantino has officially run out of credit now. Pulp Fiction was awesome, one of the best films I’ve ever...
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I’m not entirely sure why this film was made; the storyline is a fetid piece of stinking cat excrement which,...
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If I turned up for work one day, took a shit in reception, phoned all my clients to tell them...
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Well this was shit wasn’t it. I set my sky plus to record this a couple of weeks ago, and...
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I was planning to write reviews on each of the three Shrek movies, but the simple fact is that I...
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